Sex Archives » Page 4 of 9 » The Impersonals

Harbingerr's Horrorscopes
Edwina Gein

Harbingerr’s Horror-scopes: Jan 22 – Jan 28

in Horiscopes | by | 22.01.13

You are very demanding of those around you, which means you are a douche. Shut the fuck up or someone is going to kill you.   You are known for your stability and strength in horrific situations, which is why you are a doormat. Grow a fucking backbone or someone is going to kill you. [...]

read more
Featured Image
Emily Berna

A Look At This Season’s “Bachelor”: All Time Lowe

in TV | by | 14.01.13

Y’all stoked for this season of “The Bachelor”?!!! LADIES?!!! AM I RIGHT?!!! No. This season of America’s most beloved show, “The Bachelor,” premiered on January 7th on ABC. What a perfect way to reign in this new year of true love, merriment, sanity, and pure glee, right? WRONG! I must admit, I watched last season [...]

read more
Sockeye
David Fine

7 Things That Turned Out Not To Be Aphrodisiacs

in Food & Health | by | 13.01.13

The word aphrodisiac comes from the name Aphrodite, the Greek goddess of love and fertility. She was also a total slut, bangin’ Ares all the time (among others) and cuckolding poor old Hephaestus. She popped out kids left and right, including Priapus, who was known for his gargantuan 24/7 erection, and Hermaphrodites, a bisexual who [...]

read more
A Cosmo Girl's Guide - Dos And Don'ts For Break Ups
Siobhan Beasley

Break-Up Do’s And Don’ts

in Love & Sex | by | 10.01.13

It’s a new year, and time for a new you! Because you’re newly single! You weren’t single just a moment ago. But now you are. You’re. So. Very. Single. And you were single for New Years when you thought it’d be a good idea to make-out with that guy who smelled like an aged cheese platter, [...]

read more
batman
Curt Pasisz

Best Of: Porn Spoofs

in Film | by | 10.01.13

Let’s face facts. Porno movies get boring after awhile. The adult film industry realized this and has started making spoofs of popular movies and TV shows. It’s the best of both worlds. You still get to see your favorite performers having sex, but you also get a fresh, sexy, and funny take on familiar characters [...]

read more
icetcoco
Zoë Klar

NoWay Cupid Featured Profile: Ice-T and Coco

in Love & Sex | by | 10.01.13

IceTLovesCocoAndMaybeYou! 42 & 28/Straight/Married Bayonne, New Jersey (8 miles)       My self-summary We are a loving couple looking for a new friend. One of us is an actor/rapper and the other one is married to an actor/rapper. We’ve been married for a while now and Coco seems like she’d be fun in bed [...]

read more
Bad Date
Erica Hobar

Things I Wish My Mom Told Me When I First Started Dating

in Guides | by | 09.01.13

Now, I don’t mean the birds-and-the-bees talk. My mom told me that when I was 13; either not very explicitly or I just wasn’t paying attention because it took me another year to figure out what a condom actually was (sort of thought it was some kind of device that connected two people and made [...]

read more

Featured Writers

Maura Quint

Maura Quint

Maura Quint is a writer who received the silver medal in the '88 Calgary...

Thomas Green

Thomas Green

Thomas Green is a writer, podcaster ("Wrestlefolks: The Podcast" on iTunes), and...

Jake Riordan

Jake Riordan

Jake went to college with Impersonals editor Matt Brand, and there was instant...

Nigel R.

Nigel R.

Nigel's ability to comment on himself is deficient at best.

You can find him...

Adam Rensch

Adam Rensch

Adam Theron-Lee Rensch is a writer & musician. He is currently finishing a...

Listen to The Impersonals Podcast, feat. interviews w great tweeters