Dating Playbook: Mastering The Phaseout

The situation: you no longer want to date with someone, and it’s been a short enough period of time that you don’t need to have long, drawn-out discussion about it.

The play: “the phaseout” – a fade-to-black technique that allows you to disappear slowly and painlessly.

How to run it: continue status quo, but start introducing an element of vagueness to every correspondence. Things will go from real to abstract in roughly 2 weeks. The opposite of a severe cut-off, the Phaseout is an ancient technique that rewards measured patience. Everyday you gain a little more distance until finally they are just a tiny silhouette in your rear-view mirror. Are they drying their nails or waving goodbye? Who cares! Plug your next destination into the GPS and step on it.

Handy phrases: “I’m going to be out of town for the next 3 months”; “sorry! my phone ran out of juice”; “I have Lyme’s disease. Again.”