If Dating Profiles Could Talk, This One Of A Girl Holding A Wineglass Would Say

Oh! Hi. Looks like you caught me in a “casual” moment, just having a drop or two of wine. You see, I like to unwind after a long day at work, and well, a glass of Merlot is how I like to do it. Did you know it’s pronounced “Merlow”? I didn’t know that until yesterday. Crazy Spanish words!

Anyway, I’m choosing this picture for my main “profile” shot on disHarmony.com, because it gets to the essence of who I am – a raging alcoholic. Yes sir! It begins with elegance, as I sip the grape and enjoy some cheese. After the bottle’s drained, I begin to slur. How do I know I’m slurring, if I’m all alone and not talking to anyone? Because I’m talking to my cat, Mr. LittleFiddleSticks. I’m telling him about my day.

Second bottle of Merlow is corked, and I’m a disaster. Mainly because I shouldn’t mix alcohol with these antianxiety meds. But who cares! Nobody listens to those “warnings” anyway!  Oh gosh, maybe I should have something more to eat, what do you think Mr. LittleFiddleSticks?? What the – goddammit! He ran away! Get back here you ungracious bag of – hello, what’s this? Dancing with the Stars is on! As if I needed an excuse to pour myself another bottle. I love this label, especially when I can see it triple.

Anyway, if you like what you’ve read, drop me an note! (PS I don’t respond to winks)