About Adam Rensch, Author at The Impersonals

Adam Rensch

Adam Rensch

Adam Theron-Lee Rensch is a writer & musician. He is currently finishing a memoir titled "A Beginner's Guide to Learning How to Die," as well as a novel about the 2008 financial crisis. His first album, under the name Slow No Wake, was released in December 2013.

Adam Rensch, Author at The Impersonals's Articles

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Adam Rensch

How To Gain Friends & Influence People: A Guide To Twitter Success

1. Be Ironic This is, perhaps, the most important tool to twitter success. Be ironic about anything and everything because nothing matters, especially not twitter, which is exactly why you’re spending 8 hours a day tweeting. This thoughtless, juvenile approach to life, one you’ve yet to outgrow, will be your life raft in a sea [...]

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jumper
Adam Rensch

An Open Letter To The Celebrities, CEOs, And Wealthy Public Figures Yet To Magnanimously Pay Off My Student Loans

To those of you with a current net worth exceeding 50 million dollars: Recently I received a very amusing letter from the Department of Education that informed me, in no uncertain terms, that I am currently $126,000 in debt. While it is funny enough to consider the shear volume of physical space this amount could [...]

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Adam Rensch

This Is, Uh, Syria’s Situation

in Opinion/Editorial | by | 09.09.13

There is no question that America is the greatest country on the planet—and, given that the existence of other inhabited planets has yet to be proven (to say nothing of the likelihood such planets are divided into warring factions called “countries”), it is presumably safe to also say that America is the greatest country in [...]

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skyler
Adam Rensch

An Open Letter To Skyler White

in Celebs, Entertainment, TV | by | 11.08.13

Dear Skyler, As both a lukewarm fan of Breaking Bad and a law-abiding, tax-paying citizen of the United States, I’m writing to address what I feel are serious flaws in your character—flaws which, if not corrected within the remaining 8 episodes of the show, will leave me no option but to cease downloading the show [...]

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bush
Adam Rensch

The Time I Stalked Don DeLillo

in Featured, Opinion/Editorial | by | 01.08.13

OK, so maybe stalking isn’t the best word. It’s not like I ever followed him for more than a few blocks or lingered for more than, say, five minutes outside his house feigning interest in the trees. Admittedly, I may have been, as my friends frequently reminded me, “a little obsessed” (he is, after all, the greatest living [...]

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