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Yelp is a helpful site if you want to find information on restaurants in your area or wherever you might be at the moment, unless you’re in prison, but I personally use the service to read what crazies have to say about the places they’ve eaten at. No matter if you’re looking for Mexican, Chinese, Italian, Thai, European, continental, five star dining, a diner, a chain, a fast food restaurant, or some gas station that sells old hot dogs that sit around for hours on some rolling nonsense, there’s a review for each establishment that will make you laugh and question why anyone would go out of their way to tell the public that they were “attacked by a family of raccoons while tryna scarf some burgers at this joint” in northern Wisconsin.

Now, here’s how “Yelp Reviews: Real Or Fake? The Game” is going to go:

Below are a mix of several “Yelp reviews” that I’ve either straight-up copy and pasted from the site (the Real ones) and some that I’ve written myself (the Fake ones) and I want you to guess which reviews are Real and which reviews are Fake.

It’s probably a lot harder than you think, but there will be an answer key at the bottom of the page so after reading each review you can say, “I totally knew that one was real,” or, “I totally knew that one was fake,” or, “This was really stupid.” And remember there are no winners or losers when it comes to reading Yelp reviews and guessing which ones are Real or Fake – just losers.

Now without further ado here are the reviews for a random Taco Bell in Buffalo, New York.

1) Taco Bell – Buffalo, NY
1 OUT OF 5 STARS

This is the worst Taco Bell location, and quite possibly the worst fast food restaurant that I’ve ever been to. If you do decide to go here, plan some extra time as it will take them a good 15-20 minutes to fill an order (not a good choice for a quick lunch). The servers are rude at worst and mediocre at best. The last time I was there (emphasis on the word “last”), I got food poisoning from a beef burrito. If you’re in the area and really want Taco Bell food, there’s a smaller one in the Boulevard Mall not far from this location that isn’t quite as horrid. Better yet though, I’d recommend spending an extra couple bucks on the Mexican restaurant or other burrito places nearby.

2) Taco Bell – Buffalo, NY
1 OUT OF 5 STARS

Just don’t eat at Taco Bell. Please. There are family Mexican places that cost tha same and are 50 times as delicious.

Sometimes I would be forced to go to this location because the people I was with would not want to wait for real food to be made at somewhere like Jim’s or a hot dog place or a sit down place like Royal. What a shame.

Would you rather support the local family, or the multi national corporations and the rich men on yachts in the Carribbean? Why are the parking lots of the awesome local places usually half empty (or completely empty)? Why are the fast food chains always so busy? Why can they afford to open so late and get all the TV advertising and all the prime intersection locations? Why are they taking over all the airports, stations, and rest stops? Why go and support McDonalds, Taco Bell, Burger King, KFC, Wendys, Cold Stone, Subway, and so on? These places have systematically and coldly taken over the national food scene by using the cheapest ingredients, pre-packaged frozen systematic meals that are identical across the nation, ridiculously cheap prices for the polystyrene food on dollar menus, overpricing for everything else, rude underpaid servers on way less than minimum wage, and a ridiculously expensive mass brand advertising campaign that gets inside the heads of all the kids and the 20somethings and keeps them under the illusion that if it’s not a brand name, it’s not worth visiting. They spend all the money they should be investing in food and service, in advertising and cornering the market – the local places can’t compete – and someday all we will be left with is the same chains serving the same food all over the world. That is our future. It’s the way we’re heading and you know it. Every time you eat at a bland national chain, you buy into that, you support that. Boycott chains. Support your local eateries. It’s an embarrassment that generic brand national chains are even listed on a proper foodie website like Yelp, let alone getting 4 and 5 stars from so called foodies. Wake up, America, before we’re all just batteries in the matrix.

3) Taco Bell – Buffalo, NY
3 OUT OF 5 STARS

it was okay

4) Taco Bell – Buffalo, NY
3 OUT OF 5 STARS

This Taco Bell is a good one. The employees are always kind and the service is good. And Taco bell is great if you are on a tight budget.
It is pretty clean too. And even though Taco Bell is not real mexican food, it bring back memories from my childhood in New Mexico. Be sure to order a taco with a hard shell.

5) Taco Bell – Buffalo, NY
5 OUT OF 5 STARS

From the second my husband and I entered this exquisite little Mexican bistro the entire staff treated us like royalty. Everyone from the host to the wait staff to the chef who came to our table personally to ask us how we enjoyed our scrumptious meal couldn’t be more friendly and accommodating. Not to mention the décor was just the cutest. The entire restaurant was filled with chic brightly colored plastic and metal furniture, the color scheme was comprised primarily of these beautiful lilacs and yellow-oranges, and the canvas paintings that said things like, “Yum! Gorditas” and “Live Más” (my husband Google the term on his new iPhone that I surprised him with on Christmas and it means “Live More” in Spanish) hung on the walls and were tremendously inviting.

But let’s get down to business. The food. Was. Abso. Lutely. Delish.

My husband had the Volcano Taco, which contained a mouth-watering crunchy, red tortilla shell, filled with seasoned ground beef, crisp shredded lettuce, REAL cheddar cheese, and it was topped off with this tangy molten hot lava sauce. He said it was, “To die for.”

As for myself, I had a wonderfully light-but-filling Fiesta Taco Salad with chicken that was served in a crispy tortilla bowl that was loaded with chunky beans, premium Latin rice, crisp shredded lettuce, juicy diced tomatoes, colorful tortilla strips, and REAL cheddar cheese. And of course, it was topped off with the most juicy white-meat chicken and this wonderful citrus salsa that made my mouth go, “Si. Si. Si!”

On top of that the valet parking was FREE. Great food, great vibe, great experience.

As they say in Mexico, “Live Más, everyone.”

ANSWERS BELOW
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ANSWERS
1) Real 2) Real 3) Fake 4) Real 5) Fake

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