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Hi there!

This week was a week I had a day off but it still felt like a week with 60 days. This week I chose to use Inkwell aka “Black and White” aka “The Most Depressing Filter of the Bunch” aka “The Scary Spice of Instagram Filters”.

This was literally the saddest filter I’ve ever used but I will say this: my Instagram feed this week looks very artistic and a little like a bunch of stills from a classy French film. A film entitled Le Suck

Le Garçon
(The boy) 

Now this guy on my train was completely comatose and he was an ugly sleeper too. He was snoring and probably drooling and part of me believes he could have soiled himself he was so comfortable. With the Inkwell filter this guy looks like he died an honourable death when in actuality he just passed out watching something probably lame on his laptop at 8AM.

Le Chat Assis Suggestive
(This is a tough one, it means: the cat sitting suggestively)
(I forgot most of you are probably Americans and therefore not cultured)
(Is it too late to take that back?)

My cat was cleaning his nethers in this weird mermaid position on yes, a faux fur rug which he uses as a blanket because we are better than you. Usually when he cleans his nethers it’s blatant and gross, yes. However, with the Inkwell filter he looks like he’s posing for a sexy cat calendar. Unfortunately his vacant eyes suggest he is a cat gigolo which is false.

I would never pimp out young Francis.

Le Vom

This isn’t your usual subway vom. This is bus platform vomit that has been exposed to outdoor elements (rain, wind, birds, bigger birds, people with camera phones, other birds who would be classified by other birds as a medium sized bird)

Anyway this was actually pink so it was kind of a WASTE with this filter. It also looks like it is bubbling which it is.

L’escargot Impuissant
(The helpless snail, COME ON!)

Snail. I am a snail sympathizer. I get it, you’re slow, people are always squashing your crunchy shell, leaving you homeless or more frequently dead. If I see a snail crossing a sidewalk I will pick it up and liberate it (which, yes I did after I took several photos of it without its consent) -but these photos were taken to raise awareness.

Also, if you look closely you can see its slime trail straight from its buttocks.

Gary Morts

GARY! Gary the bird has been laying on Belfield road since at least September 17th except he was in a different spot. I’m still working the details out of this bird homicide and it doesn’t help when night wildlife is dickin’ around my crime scene. I didn’t know Gary partially because I own a cat (I don’t know if I’ve ever mentioned him) and partially because EW diseases.

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