Moka Only Needs To Stop: A Review of Canadian Hip Hop

Moka Only of the laughable Swollen Members has released a new solo album, Airport 6, as if he thinks he can actually rap. Cute.

Moka Only has an uphill battle to soldier through if he wants to be taken seriously as a musician. He isn’t talented, no one really knows who he is, and he is from Canada. Who does he think he is, the Barenaked Ladies? Honestly Moka, no one is interested in your hip-hopping about West Vancouver. The times of Canadian rap has come and gone; it was very short lived and for that I am forever thankful. If you were lucky enough to have been born anywhere else than Canada you have been blessed. You mercifully missed over exposure to Maestro Fresh Wes (aka Maestro), Rascalz, Choclair, and Kardinal Offishall.

Canadian hip-hop is unfortunately stuck in a time-warp where progression and original ideas are discouraged and possibly even illegal. This explains Moka Only’s tired rhymes and played out beats. Perhaps it isn’t his fault. Maybe, just maybe, he has been forbidden by the Canadian Hip-Hop Collation (not a real thing) from ever making anything better than what has already been released.

I will give Moka Only one thing. He has distanced himself from the black hole of quality music called Swollen Members. God, remember when everyone thought they were cool for wearing Red Dragon extreme sportswear because they saw the Swollen Members wear it in their low-production value music video? The worst.

As I am writing this I am also doing some research on Moka Only and his discography. It seems as though he is going for the world record of most albums released by the world’s worst hip-hop artist. Seriously, I think he has over 1,678 albums released, which makes me think his business plan is to release as many records as possible and if one song in every third record is a semi-hit he will be able to make a living and continue to rain musical blessings upon the world.

You may not be able to tell, but I am in no way endorsing this album or any other Canadian hip-hop album ever made.

  • jim

    “From the lungs of an original member
    Savagest traveller, pick my teeth with the bones of cadavers
    Ravaging magic, this rap in your cabbage
    Swing the battle axe cause I can’t stay average” -Moka Only

    “Chickity China the Chinese chicken
    You have a drumstick and your brain stops tickin’
    Watchin’ X-Files with no lights on
    We’re dans la maison” – Barenaked Ladies

  • disqus_SbR6B2LBp5

    lol bro go bump your shitty underground rap on ur bus ride to work and keep it moving

    no one cares bro

  • ben

    This is pathetic. Moka is one of the only real hip hop artist in Canada. Fuck your stupid article. You clearly don’t know shit about hip hop. That many albums release cause he loves making music and not money.

    Long live moka

  • http://aepatterson.com/ Adam Patterson

    you mad

  • nafesim .

    Moka makes some nice beats

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