Week In Instagram: Photo Filter: Nashville

This week was a week with many (seven or eight) days. It was also the week I chose to use the Nashville photo filter on Instagram. I’ve never been to Nashville but if I had to guess I’d say that no one living there actually wants to live there and literally zero people visit. I feel like their main exports are toothless grins and tattoos.

I got off topic there BUT -the Nashville filter is like poison for your photos and it makes your reds look angry and your yellows look like aged vomit.

(sigh)

My beautiful cat looks like a demon -but you’re right: the adorableness prevails and he’s a total marmalade prince!

This fork was Eric’s fork. This fork was being used for a communal order of Lots-A-Tots from an elegant establishment known as Hooters. I don’t know if any of you have seen the inside of a Hooters but it is this swanky restaurant with faux wood paneling and it’s really just a treat. If you’re wondering what Lots-A-Tots taste like they’re like God just gave up.

Anyway, back to the fork: so we’re sharing this plate of tots sitting under a blanket of sour cream and very fake cheese (and chives and maybe bacon but they could have been burnt pieces of tot) and you know, we’ve still got three hundred left. The five of us could not finish these tots.

Am I dragging this out? I don’t think so.

SO, the conservatively dressed waitress (because we are at Hooters and it’s a family restaurant) takes away Eric’s empty plate and returns with a napkin and tray so Eric can rest his tot-fork down.

It was very thoughtful and we all had several chuckles about it (so much so that I think she heard us) but more importantly: that’s service, dickholes! Take note.

Saw this guy vomming on the Bloor platform on my way home. I have a gigantic staring problem to the point where I’m sure I made the following people very uncomfortable: him, his friend and thirty bystanders vom-sympathizing (vompathizing).

I don’t have all the answers, Jeremy but what I do know is that I mention vomit in literally all of these Instagram posts.

R.I.P it was your own fault for wearing that jacket, asshole.

People let me out of the house like this, eh? And even worse -people are seen with me and I know what you’re thinking:

“I don’t give a shit about your argyle socks, Julia! Let’s see some more photos of tots!”

“Babies or potato-tots?”

“Potato-tots!”

Gotta say though, I’ve learned so much in the last half an hour sitting on google images googling Lots-A-Tots. People actaully try to recreate this recipe at home because they’re roughly, 900lbs and can’t fit through their door frame. How awful.

Hi fancy boy! Our love would be illegal! (Actually let me check)

Ah, nevermind, he’s 18. Anyway, I just don’t want to take you home Justin mostly because I don’t want to have to ride the subway with you and have to explain myself. It’s not the age-thing it’s the caterpillar eyebrow-thing

This is the best $1 I ever spent and it’s a toy I bought for my beautiful cat, Francis. He hates it. My boyfriend hates Skyping with it he says it’s “weird” and “naked” and “sell that thing before I pay someone to burn your house down”. So, I’m putting it up on Craigslist for $30 because I think it’s totally worth $30 and I have A LOT of Nigerian prince debt I need to take care of.

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