Week In Instagram Photo Filter Amaro

Hi there! I went with the Amaro filter this past week which was one of my hugest mistakes to date (not including waiting four years to get my wisdom teeth yanked and that time I ate half a cake)

The Amaro filter is basically low-watt institutional lighting and makes any human look like a serial rapist.

Which brings me to my first photo of a possible murderer. This guy could be completely normal, he probably has like four hundred grandchildren, maybe he owns a small convenience store or a mall kiosk that sells sunglasses -we may never know. This shitty filter gives him zero credibility and we’re forced to believe he owns a suit or two made of human skin.

I bought this coconut bun only because the supermarket I was at did not sell single Jos Louis snack cakes (which are pronounced joe louie) and it was a dark ten minutes as I raced around the groceteria like a junkie. And yes, I considered buying a whole box of them but I would’ve eaten them all in under twenty minutes, savagely.

Anywho, so I take my coconut bun down to the subway and I’m eating it in front of probably the drunkest bro on the train. He was hunched over clutching his roadie ready to VOM and it really put a damper on my snack experience.

What’s this doing here? Here is the only photo in this post of my son, Francis. This filter turned my precious fur child into a total rapist. His eyes are glassy and he’s a shell of a cat.

These were two guys in banana costumes (not pictured: two other guys in banana costumes) usually I wouldn’t make eye contact but I needed these banana men to know that I was the alpha crazy and that I was straight up going to stand in front of them, shamelessly snapping a photo.

Now, I don’t know if the filter increased the crazy because that guy was wearing a beard in 30 degree (Celsius) weather which is roughly 4067.waffleweasel degrees Fahrenheit.

This one is scary: pre-filter this house was a modest bungalow and after I added the Amaro filter it turned into a complete shit-shanty.  Also this is the shit-shanty where I live.

These are some cats that live behind my office and they’re legitimate assholes anyway so the filter did nothing but accentuate their judgey glances. I named the one in the back Mittens if anyone gives a shit.

This guy is a fat idiot wearing a hat theat read “FBI Federal Beer Inspector” before and after photo filter Amaro. I don’t think any of you realize just how close I was standing to get a picture. I was breathing on his hat.

I can’t blame the shitty filter for this one.

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