Reason I Love L.A. 75

Dear Fellow Angelenos,

Let’s talk about the weather. Shouldn’t be too hard, all we ever do is talk about the weather! So, of course, the weather here in our fair city is Reason # 75 that I love L.A.!

I love the weather. I love that when I look down at my iPhone, the little weather app says 73 degrees as an EXAMPLE but it’s usually RIGHT! I love that when my Texas friends and family complain about how hot or cold it is there, it’s always thirty degrees cooler or hotter here. I love to send them screen captures about our awesomeness! I LOVE TO BRAG! I LOVE L.A.!

I love how great everyone in L.A is about the weather. We’re tough as shit when an earthquake hits. We yawn when the ground starts shaking because we’re oh so over it. We’ll continue giving the barista our order while the EARTH IS MOVING but if it starts to sprinkle, we have to shut the city down! We need news reports about driving conditions and Doppler radar to tell us how many raindrops will hit the Hollywood Sign in the next two hours. If you even react during an earthquake, you’re a pussy but if it’s raining and you don’t mention it to AT LEAST TEN THOUSAND PEOPLE, you get kicked out of the city. We rock, guys.

Another reason I love the weather in L.A. is that we are always so surprised by it! We say, “The weather is just beautiful today, guys!” with amazed smiles on our faces even though it’s been “just beautiful” for the last 232 days. Or we’ll say, “Wow, sure is gloomy out there, I thought it was supposed to be summer!” every June. Duh, guys. That’s why we have an overused phrase describing that exact phenomenon! If you haven’t heard of June Gloom by now, move back to Nebraska!

Come September, we’ll all throw our hands in the air with exasperation. “Oh NOW it decides to warm up! NOW we’ll have our summer! In the FALL! COME ON!” Then, right before Halloween, the temperature will dip ten degrees and every girl in Los Angeles will freeze her exposed ass off in her slutty trash collector costume or whatever and scream, “I’m so cold! It was warm just YESTERDAY!” It happens every year and I LOVE IT.

I love it so hard, you guys.

So, that’s why I love L.A. weather and stuff. Keep up the good work, observant citizens. I’m going outside to enjoy the GORGEOUS weather before it dips below 70 or climbs over 80.

Stay cool,

Kendra (The girl sobbing under the doorframe during the earthquake.)

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