Week In Instagram Photo Filter Brannan

This week I used the dumbest sounding photo filter of the group:

Brannan.

Brannan sounds like a name a parent from the south would give to their daughter (yeah, I know) but couldn’t decide between Brittany and Na’an bread. The Brannan filter looks as if someone took the sun, squeezed every drop of sunshine out, pissed in the bucket of sunshine and then splashed it on photos.

Speaking of sunshine (smooth, right?) there is no literally sunshine in this next photo (nope, not very smooth). This is probably the second photo I’ve ever taken of clouds so give me a break, guys I thought they were neat. What’s that? We should move on? Quit silently giving me shit about these clouds I won’t take your criticism.

Oh right those flowers. So, we’re two for two for shitty, stereotypical Instagram photos if anyone was keeping score and YEAH this is a little fucking embarrassing.

But even after the Brannan urine filter would you look at the colour of those things? Fuchsia? No one gives a shit? Jeremy?

This thing had literally been dead for roughly seven years.

This little asshole was sitting on a park bench that I NEEDED for my buttocks. He was laying there on his back, tiny bug arms pointed towards the heavens and dead as shit and he probably died there on purpose (like subway jumpers) just to complicate my life. Like, it took me three to five minutes to find a suitable stick so I could flick his dead carcass onto the grass.

This next picture was a real day ruiner -I need you to look at this picture and tell me there is hope for the human race.

The next picture is a man carrying a giant sack of baguettes on the subway.

Couple questions I had for baguette man but was way too afraid to ask (because obviously he’s unstable, he’s carrying a bag of fucking bread)

  • Are these baguettes real?
  • How much?
  • Really, for one it’s $7.00?
  • Well that’s just bullshit. Sourdough though?
  • Do you even realize what the going rate for subway bread is?
  • Oh you do.
  • I’ll take three.

The Christ Embassy.

The Christ Embassy is one of the several hundred places I pass during my morning death march from my bus stop to the office. It’s currently for lease and I’m a little fucking bummed about it and literally want nothing else to open in its place.

Except a Subway Sandwiches.

A subway sandwiches would be an improvement but the one condition would be that they keep the Christ Embassy sign up and just make fucking sandwiches.

 

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