San Francisco In Review

Well, I went to San Francisco for either four or five days. I don’t really even remember it was last week which is like seven dog weeks ago.

I stayed at a Bed & Breakfast (in a couples room which was so cute because I went with my non life partner best bud Amanda -and thinking back on my four or five or nine days the whole thing looked very suspicious).

…I feel like I have to prove my straightness at this point but I don’t have time for that right now. I have many important cats to instagram and yogurt to eat.


Naturally we went with Air Canada because we love the thrill of a possible worker strike. I was sat between Amanda the window hog (I love you and you took wonderful photos of the wing and grass) and some awful lady who chewed very loudly and who acted like she had zero control of her tree trunk legs the 11-15 times I had to use the washroom.

Okay, first we have the worst woman in the history of women and some gum on the air mall (and a pair of nude legs and a carrot) These are some quality pictures, guys I like to have a ton of fun on vacation okay? The last is a Peruvian virgin’s blood.

Puts me right out.


This is our really subtle way of letting one another know that there’s a murderer on the plane. AND YOU KNOW WHAT? I’m starting to think he probably noticed me pointing two iPhones at him but I can’t tell for sure. Anyway. not my proudest moment.



I took a couple thousand shots of the place we stayed at:


It wasn’t bad. It was a b&b

Anywho, so you’re in San Francisco and you’re relaxing and having a drink and staring at the ground or 800 cacti in your host’s yard or you’re staring off into space or-OH MY GOD DEVIL CAT


The Bridge and wharf etc…:

There was this bridge there and I think it was called “Red Friendship Bridge” or “Suicide Mountain” or “Gay” I don’t remember.


BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORING! Let’s look at a tender moment I creepily captured:

CUTE! And what about some pictures of the wall of seal plushies in the gift shop and a pigeon in flight?




There were some real honkies there. The guy on the left behind basically was a shit who looked like an overgrown toddler. I spent literally half an hour trying to get a picture of him. The lady on the right sat on the opposite side of me and was just wrecked and I tried desperately to snap a picture of her awful shirt which was three bedazzled wine glasses.

Oh my god these pictures are blurry and awful I apologise so hard, you guys.


Also, there was a group really drunk Canadians (from Edmonton, ew right?) behind us who were getting drunker and drunker and more revealing about their lives. We heard a shit ton about the girl in the striped shirt’s upcoming divorce straight killing my buzz.

Naturally I met a fucking cat at the winery then went on to ruining an entire barrel of wine by resting my butt on it.


Misc and whatever:

Some toilet in the middle of the day in a ruined washroom. Now, at the time I thought it was HILARIOUS because I had been drinking most of the afternoon but now I just have to look back and wonder why this washroom looked like pure hell at 3:00pm.

The second photo is a bit of a story: It’s Amanda’s foot resting on some half-stairs that were on the sidewalk in the daylight. In the moonlight it’s a lady-vagrant was eating a sandwich staring into the street in front of these stairs which was already a little strange. Anywho, she turned around and there was a rat on her shoulder and I was so creeped out I fumbled the lock code for the b&b and had to spend an extra 30 seconds standing there with my jaw dropped gawking at this rat woman.

The third picture is where I left my heart.





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