Sure, I was once like you: terrified to leave my home for fear of having to speak to a teenager and/or tween. I feared that they would use a slang word that I wouldn’t understand and I would be thought a fool in front of my friends, neighbors and people at the bus stop. But that was the old me. I’ve developed an easy-to-use slang conversion chart that makes speaking to teens/tweens fun and simple!

Chillaxin’: Combination of the phrases “eating chili” and “sending a fax”.

Sup?:  Short for supplemental income. As in “I sell scented candles as a supplemental Income. You see, Gary hasn’t been able to work since the accident.”

Totes: Several tote bags. For example, 53 tote bags.

LOL: Stands for Lieutenant Orm Lassiter, inventor of the heating pad. 1884-1908.

I’m chillin’: You are literally trapped in a walk-in freezer. Maybe you were hiding from some bad guys? Maybe they’re European? Eastern European?

Hater or h8ter: A “hater” is someone who is jealous of your Bedazzled jean jacket that you made to wear at Applebee’s to attract a new husband.

OMG: Acronym for “Only My Garfield!” Teens love Garfield. Not the comic strip, the live-action/animated movie starring Bill Murray, Breckin Meyer and Jennifer Love-Hewitt. Not the first one, though. Only the second one, Garfield: The Tail of Two Kitties.

TTYL: Acronym for “Thanks for co-signing on my motorcycle loan, Kevin!”

Swag: Short for swamp grandma

Redonkulous: When a donkey or miniature horse wanders into a nightclub. Typically, this is a bad thing.

Crunk: It means your ponytail is caught in some sort of rotating machinery.

Buggin’: Simply means that you believe the government placed tiny metallic insects inside your brain and major organs.

WTF: Exotic cheeses

Splurff: Combination of ‘chiirmff’ and ‘funch’

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