Honest Music Review

As I was taking my morning commute on the horrendous 96 Wilson bus I asked a group of youth what they were listening to these days. I want to make sure I was still hip, as they say (they don’t say that). I am not happy, I asked, not happy at all. After a bit of muddled mutterings and snide remarks I was informed that the latest ‘cool’ thing is a band called “Fun.”. (Please do not be confused by the extra punctuation. The first period is part of the band’s name. As if fun is a sentence on its own, or that the band is like, “we are only about having fun, period!” and are very conservative with their words.)

This is a very misleading name if you ask me, which I know you didn’t. Just roll with it, Stephen, why do you always have to be such a pain! I AM TRYING TO WRITE SOMETHING HERE.

Anyway, as I was saying, Fun. is a misleading name for this particular band. You see, fun is something that provides mirth (?) and enjoyment. Having a bowl of Kraft Dinner is fun; cucumber sandwiches are fun; macaroni salad is fun (I am terribly hungry). Listening to Fun. is not fun.

Their “hit” song, We Are Young, is as melodramatic as Misha Barton in the O.C. and as self important as Misha Barton in the O.C. We Are Young is overflowing with overemotional buzz words (fire, angels, burn, lover, bar, scar, drinks, apologies, time, falling, carry, tonight, young, etc.) that teens and tweens alike gobble up. They love feeling like their romantic relationships are the most important relationships in the history of romance (applause as necessary for the wonder of that sentence). It is easy to imagine them blathering, “Those lyrics speak to me. It is just like my break-up with Joey. *sob sob sob*” or “I too want to set the world on fire and burn brighter than the sun! No one understands me and what it feels like to be young.”

Uh, dummie? Being young is amazing, it is probably the best time of your life. There are face creams devoted to making people seem younger so they can pretend they are still 20-something when they are actually 40 and above (we are on to you old people). Your life is probably amazing. You most likely have a flat screen TV in your bedroom and can watch The O.C. on DVD whenever you want. You can surf the internet and Google pictures of Justin Bieber’s smile. You go to high school; essentially play time!

I don’t totally blame you though. The over-emphasized war drums, the melancholy piano, and the singer’s voice (which sounds as if he is about to break down in tears after watching Ryan Gosling proclaim his love to Rachel McAdams in the pouring rain in the The Notebook) manipulate your emotions just like Misha Barton in the O.C.

What happened to good music for the youth? Teenagers used to get in shit for listening to badass music like Led Zeppelin and the Rolling Stones. Now all they have at their disposal is whiney dickweeds that complain too much. I make fart noises with my mouth that sound better than Fun..

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