Let’s be realistic.

The only reason you even know it’s Valentine’s Day is because your annoying co-workers had flowers delivered to the office. Now you have to try not to look like a loser by sneaking out early so you can stop to pick over wilted roses at an exponentially higher rate and the last three greeting cards that all say:

  I know I'm a jackass
    and never say "thanks" for washing my socks
      and making my dinner

  But you're special to me
    more than any of the others
      you make me feel like a winner

Since you’re not willing to admit the fact that you’ve only just remembered this most sacred of all fake holidays, that shit just isn’t an option. I’m here to help. Oh, and since we know guys aren’t in this boat alone, there’s a card for each guys and gals to give on this most grand of days that was concocted by the greeting, chocolate and florist industries to boost what would otherwise be a real shitty first quarter.

From him: Download a card to print | Download an e-card to post or email

From her: Download a card to print | Download an e-card to post or email

While you’re at it, try to keep the true spirit of Valentine’s Day alive. It doesn’t come in a box of mystery-filled chocolates or pleasantly-arranged-yet-rotting vegetation. It’s about letting that someone special know that if they were crushed by a disaster at the Hoover Dam, you would fly around the world fast enough to change the Earth’s rotation and make time go backwards to save them, because that’s how much they mean to you.

Your pal,
GuyAdvisor