Other posts from this series can be found here. 

Rule #7 Be awesome when you’re all alone

Here we are at our last rule. We’ve been through so much. You’ve cried while Go-Go dancing on a bar. You’ve gotten drunk by yourself and smashed bananas and/or karate chopped the furniture to release your breakup rage. You’ve whined, then pulled yourself out of your sad-sack, self-pity funk. You – most importantly – burned your Grannies and wiggled into G-Strings. You’ve gone on dates and done a wee bit-o cyber stalking. It’s cool, everybody’s done it. And so here we are. You’re all alone. No New Year’s Eve date. No one to cuddle with on Saturday night while sharing a mini tub of ice cream. No random Tuesday morning sex (with another person). But that’s OK.

The solution to getting over a breakup isn’t finding another person to fill in that empty space and make you feel fulfilled and confident. Despite the example set by Hugh Hefner, you don’t need to fill the missing silicone boobs in your life with another pair or two of jugs. I know that may be a tough, particle physics type concept to grasp but stay with me here. Go out on New Year’s with your friends and instead of pouting and complaining that you have no one to kiss at midnight, kiss your friends or do a jig or find some random hot stranger and make it happen. It’s all good. You’re a badass.

Don’t worry I won’t tell you that you can’t be loved until you love yourself. Gross. I will tell you that you better rock those damn G-Strings (guys, you can rock some boxer briefs but they MUST be hot, not baggy or riddled with holes or whatever). Rock them all by yourself, and if you find yourself yearning for some Grannie Panties? You best start over with Rule #1 and grab a sack. You’re better than that.