Pros: They love being in charge so picking restaurants, making reservations and picking up bills are things you don’t have to worry your pretty little head about; they get you presents for no reason (they are happy when they demonstrate their wealth and you are happy because everyone likes presents); they talk about taking you on romantic weekend get-aways; they’re always well dressed, shaved and smelling good; they have a nice apartment — clean too (they have cleaning ladies).

Cons: Aggressive bursts of anger when you question their opinions (they are always right); their only hobbies are watching football and drinking bourbon; they use business phrases in their personal life, i.e. “front end” and “circle back”; they have an agenda (always) and you’re not privy to it; they get up at 4:30 a.m. (making sleepovers a real drag); they are men of routine so you eat at the same 3 restaurants each week; conversations are less than interesting.

You should date them if: You want to feel like a trophy girlfriend; you like being bossed around and occasionally scolded; you want to roll around in 1,000 thread count sheets doused in cologne; you have decided that your new passion in life should be football; you can keep your opinions to yourself.