Everyone knows and loves haikus – those bite sized, self-contained poems that bring to light simple, overlooked moments in life. Less known are Whorekus, which are haikus dipped in KY Jelly, sweat, and precious bodily fluids. Good to read right before bed.

When I’m with two men
double penetration please
it’s quite fulfilling.

 

There was this one time
I fucked him with a dildo
what a friggin mess.

 

I’m cool with most things
but I’m not down with the brown
shit just weirds me out.

 

Sometimes fantasy
should remain so – listen up:
duct tape rips out pubes.

 

I’m a swallower,
but there’s a reason for that
protein makes hair shine.