Although it may be difficult to believe from where you’re sitting, even your boy Denny sometimes avails himself of a “Gentleman’s Overture” or two in order to increase his odds of biblically reclining with any number of otherwise virtuous, doe-eyed misses. Yes, on occasion even my carnal tractor beam is off. You may stop shaking your head in disbelief. It makes you look rabid.
On the off chance that you can pry your way from the Myst chatroom this evening to join the party going down at your local pool hall or deserted farmhouse, you might consider utilizing one of the following DelVecchio-approved icebreakers. All are guaranteed to keep the panties dropping:
1. “You’re an elegant, bewitching beauty. Would you mind pooping on me?”
2. “Can I show you my etchings?”
3. “I hope you don’t think I’m being forward, but I’ve taken the liberty of booking a trip for us to Bootyland. Our Itinerary: Pleasure.”
4. “I know what you’re thinking, but I love a gorgeous, glowing pregnant woman.”
5. “So where exactly do you stand on the issue of premature ejaculation?”
6. “Do you, by any chance, have a picture of your mother handy?”
7. “If you were my burger, you definitely would not be on the value menu. You’d be one of the special ones that are, like, $3.99, and are served with tomatoes and lettuce and onions. And fries. And maybe a drink.”
Happy hunting, lads!
With Copious Love,