New York, NY – A Manhattan woman filed suit against her long-time girl friend and gal about town companion yesterday with an underused yet serious charge – Intentional Infliction of Dating Distress – or female cock-blocking. ”She was sabotaging me all along” said Stephanie Billaboo, 36, of her frenemy Melissa Kokalok, also 36 and a publicist for a well known cosmetics brand.
The scene is well-known to most New Yorkers: two single women seated at a swanky Meat Packing District bistro, lightly sipping their Cosmos and swapping stories about their latest dating travails. After a string of failed first dates Stephanie, on Melissa’s insistence, put up a profile on the dating website OKCupid.
“She said I should write in my ad that great sex was a dealbreaker, and that men admire a woman who is comfortable with her sexuality and goes after what she wants.” Stephanie posted several risque photos, including bikini and cleavage shots and, for good measure a “Duck Face” pose (recently banned from Match.com). All photos were hand picked by Melissa.
What Stephanie didn’t know: she was being set up.
Messages from multiple suitors flooded her in-box, and Stephanie would give Melissa the run down of each date over fruity libations.
“When I told her that I hadn’t heard from one guy that I really liked, she suggested that I call him, but instructed me not to leave a voice mail. Melissa said that most men don’t even check their voice mails regularly so I should keep calling until he picks up. After a couple of weeks I learned he had changed his phone number and removed his profile. Melissa said that he was probably afraid of how he felt for me and wasn’t ready for anything serious because he’d been burnt recently.”
On another evening out, Stephanie reveled that she had been on three dates with a man, Justin LeCroix, whom she believed could be “The One.” Melissa advised Stephanie to play it cool because men don’t like women to be too available.
“She also said that I should make him ‘work for it’ and not have sex with him for at least 3 months,” Stephanie told reporters. “Maybe a handjob here or there. But that’s it.” The final blow was when Melissa encouraged Stephanie to blog about her experiences.
A separate case is now pending against Melissa for slander, filed by Mr. LaCroix, regarding one particular blog post.
“Let me tell you something, brah,” he told reporters. “This cock? It works. It’s fully functional. Just because Admiral Happy wouldn’t salute for this chick means nothing. Nothing. Okay?”
