New York, NY – The 3:00 am M14 crosstown bus is responsible for at least 60% of the city’s existential crises, dark philosophical wanderings and deep angsty thoughts, according to MTA officials. The bus, which is usually empty at that time except for the occasional drunk frat guy and Rob the sleeping homeless man, triggers thoughts like “what is the consequence of a Godless world?” and “is it the individual who is responsible for giving one’s life true meaning?”, amongst others.

“I’ve been riding that empty late night bus for years,” said East Village resident Rebecca Palmer. “It starts out okay, but right around when the wheelchair access ramp goes down for the fifth time, the dark thoughts start pouring in.” Ms. Palmer’s existential ponderings lean towards Satre and Kafka, according to her brain.

“Stepping on that bus is like entering the waiting room at a free clinic,” she added.

MTA officials said they were concerned about the report, but pointed to the fact that people were “individuals” who are free to make choices, and whose “essence” defines what it is to be human. “The M14 bus rider, through his own consciousness, creates his own values and determines his meaning to his own life, irregardless of the objective reality,” officials said.

On a related note, the M14 will not be running this weekend due to construction; late night riders are encouraged to take the E23 – a line notorious for its Ayn Randish delusions of objectivism.