QUEENS, NYC – Community activist Sam Robbins was found dead in his apartment yesterday after what officials are calling a “compulsive three-day binge” of viewing his ex-girlfriend’s wedding pictures online. The cause of death was suffocation due to extreme seething, according to the autopsy.
Police officials said the 98 photos of newlyweds Corine Leigh and Seb Reynolds were a particularly potent strain. “I’ve been on the force for years, and I’ve never seen anything so powerful in terms of sanguine sentimentality.”
“Those pictures were pure cut – I’m surprised he stayed alive as long as he did,” he added.
A relatively rare form of death, hospitalizations due to seething has been steadily on the rise since the advent of social networks like Facebook and other photo-sharing sites, according to medical records. Repeat, compulsive viewing of photos elicits a “witches brew” of emotions, according to Dr. Anna Fray, author of the self-help book, “The Extreme Seethers’ Workshop” (Harper Collins). “Jealousy, anger, regret, depression – you name it,” she said. “It all gets released and amplified with each click of the mouse.” The elements accumulate and swirl, creating a toxic cocktail that expands in the chest and, in the worst cases, suffocates the seether.
Expressing their condolences, the bride and groom sent the family one of their duplicate wedding gifts – a blender.
About Matt Brand
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How does one seethe to death? Is it a mental condition?