Raleigh, NC — The faulty, breaking window-curtain belonging to area couple Simon Radcliffe and Gretchen Bryan is metaphoric of something pertaining to their relationship, according to local experts.

“It’s like something straight out of Fitzgerald, or maybe John Updike,” said local English teacher Wallace Rowe. “The window being a clear panel through which they can see the outside world, with this curtain which, every other time they close, breaks violently. It’s such layered symbolism, but I’m not exactly sure of what.” Rowe pointed to the pattern of breakage as a possible clue: while it only breaks for Ms. Bryan when she opens the curtain, it only breaks for Mr. Radcliffe when he closes it.

When pressed for comment, Mr. Radcliffe was transparent. “We’re definitely on the rocks, and I’ve been noticing the symbolism more and more, especially around the house.” He pointed to the ailing houseplant, broken dish washer, and sick dog as prime examples. “But that damn curtain rod leads the pack.”

The curtain, purchased in haste by Ms. Bryan at Bed, Bath and Beyond, was unreturnable according to company officials, which might reflect the couple’s ultimate fate of being stuck with each other for eternity.